I HATE BIRDS

Yes, you read that right.  I absolutely and utterly hate birds.  Why do I hate birds?  Well there are oh so many reasons....like the fact that they sharp little beaks and claws that they could use to peck or claw your eyeballs out.....or that they have wings that they flap in your face....but most of all this is why I hate birds......

Poor Car :(

This would be my poor car covered in it's daily dose of bird poo!  There are a pair of starlings here that feel like it is their right to use my car as their personal toilet!  They live in the beams of my carport.  I always mean to plug up the hole where they get in every spring so they can't build a new nest, but they are sneaky.  They build the nest with the stealth of ninjas.  They also don't poo while building the nest...at least not on my car so there is no warning that they have returned, till one day there they are with their brand new nest.  At this point they have the gall to lay eggs.  Now I feel guilty ripping their nest down because there are babies involved and so I leave it alone.  Well once the eggs hatch that's when the poo hits the fan....errr...car.  It's like they've been holding it for weeks and all of the sudden they let it fly!  I'm pretty sure they plot all winter on ways they can defile my car.  It's like their little bird hobby.  Evil birds.  Evil.

Cough cough cough....

So I haven't blogged for a few days because I've been sick. No...before you even ask...it's not the swine flu. I repeat....I do not have the swine flu! I'm on the mend though, so never fear I shall be back to the blogging soon.

Whoo hooo!!!!!!

Lil' Kim got kicked off DWTS!!!!!!!  Go Ty!!!!!  

The end.....again.

My minty fresh hand.....

So I was sitting at work this morning and I kept getting a whiff of a light minty smell.  For the life of me I couldn't figure it out.  I wasn't chewing gum, I hadn't put on chapstick, so naturally I started searching to see if some nefarious blob of toothpaste has somehow worked it's way onto my clothing somewhere.  After completing the body search and finding no toothpaste where it should not be, I happened to rub my nose and realized it was my hand!  Now how did my hand come to be minty fresh you ask?  Well after thinking for a moment I realized it must be my spiffy new toothbrush.  This toothbrush isn't your normal run of the mill toothbrush....oh no....it is a special toothbrush.....for it is a SCENTED toothbrush.  Why does a toothbrush need to be scented you ask?  Well I can think of no good reason whatsoever for a toothbrush to be mint scented other than to entice some dumb schmuck to buy it because is smells good.  I personally bought the toothbrush because is was a rockin' shade of pink with awesome blue accents, oh and because it cost $2.89 as opposed to the rest of the toothbrush selection which topped the 4 dollar mark.  When I got it home I thought...eh...mint scented toothbrush....weird.  Now, however, that I have noticed that the mint fragrance is leaching into my skin I am wondering what exactly do they do to a toothbrush to impregnate it with a delightful minty freshness?  What are the long term effects of this minty fragrance?  Is there such a thing as mint poisoning?  Yes....these are all things that I sat and thought about at work.  Ok, so not the mint poisoning thing, but I was on a roll here so I thought I'd throw that one in.  The end.

Stomp rehersal update......

apparently Stomp has been cancelled and they've decided to switch to the old soft shoe....these people are going to drive me nuts......oh.....and the bull riding game.....totally worth the 20 bucks I spent on it!

I feel like I'm taking crazy pills!!!!!

The oh so considerate fellows upstairs are either getting new floors put in or they are rehearsing their rendition of "Stomp" for the ward talent show.  I've been listening to them bang and tap away up there for the better part of 3 hours and I think my head may explode.  Don't they know it's Dancing with the Stars night?  (Yes....I am a dancing with the stars junkie....it's reality television at it's finest as far as I am concerned.)  How am I supposed to enjoy watching hot men shake it when I have to listen to that?  Sheesh people!  Oh....they've stopped for a moment!  But wait....of course they choose to stop during the one dancer that I really don't care for.  Lil' Kim is on....PLEASE START POUNDING AGAIN!  Whoever decided it was a good idea to put her on this show is a moron.  Blech...she's yucky.  I'm a Ty Murray fan myself.  He may not be the most graceful chap on the show but he sure is fun to watch and he has the cutest little boy grin.

Speaking of Ty Murray, I am rather excited to try out the new Wii game I got today.  It's PBR Out of the Chute and Ty Murray is one of the bull riders on it.  Yes I know it sounds odd for a girl to have a bull riding game and to be excited about it, but anyone who knows me knows I love rodeo....and seriously people....one player gets to be the bull and one gets to be the bull rider.....that just sounds like a recipe for hilarity.  I personally think the wii in general is hilarious but this just adds to the fun.  

Seriously.....they decide to stop pounding during commercials....what the (insert cuss word of your choice here)???  Ok....I am going to go sit really close to the tv and slowly go crazy.....

Go Ty!!!!

So lazy.......

that I slept right through church. Not surprising since I was up goofing off online till the wee hours of the morning, but still....it was supposed to be my first week at a new ward so I should have gotten my sorry butt out of bed and gone. I guess there is always next week to be my first week. I'm trying to will myself off of my bed right now to go tackle the mess that is disguising itself as my kitchen. I tried my hand at a little catering last night and hosted a prom date dinner. The food looked great, the kids had fun (I hope), but I must say while I pass in the cooking department I certainly fail in cleaning up. If I were to ever throw caution to the wind and actually follow the catering interest I would seriously need an army of people to clean up after me.....preferably munchkins because they are compact so they wouldn't get in the way too much, they are easy to transport and I'm fairly certain they'd just work for kicks and giggles, thus leaving all the spoils of my wildly successful prom dinner catering business to me! Ah....it's the American Dream! Also....I'd need to find some of those super cool chef's clogs, because I have to say after standing in the kitchen for who knows how long yesterday my feet are not exactly happy today, which gives me another excuse not go get up and clean, because that would involve more standing in the kitchen. Hmmmm....guess I won't be getting out of bed after all.

It's 12:23 am......

......so logically I am playing with this new fangled blogging stuff.  One of these days I'll learn that I should go to sleep at night rather than goofing off, but today is apparently not that day.  I must say I'm interested to see if anyone reads this thing.  If you do, don't be jealous of my super exciting life.  When you read of my daily adventures you are sure to feel a twinge of envy, but please try to repress it.  I know....it will be hard....but you can do it.  

Why the Lollypop Guild?  Well, because it's random of course.  

I swore I'd never do this.....

......but here I am starting a blog.  I'm a sucker for peer pressure I guess.  This will most likely be the most boring blog of all time and I'm fairly certain that there will be long stretches of time when I don't update it, but I'm doing it anyway.  Let the randomness begin.