Meet Max...mild mannered cat.....

(this pic is from christmas so picture him bigger and not so blurry)

Max is my parent's cross-eyed (no lie...he's totally cross eyed) cat.  Max is a real weirdo.  He walks kinda crooked (I'm assuming that has something to do with the crossed eyes) He's a pest.  He has an interspecies crush on Maggie the dog. He makes me sneeze and causes my eyeballs swell up.   He will chase anything and has a strange obsession with bare feet.  He likes to bite bare feet...a lot.  He lays in wait for unsuspecting people to walk by so he can ambush their feet.  I pretty much hate him.  Typical cat right?  

WRONG!

Over memorial day weekend I discovered Max's secret.  He's actually an evil genius cat and all of his weirdness is just a front.  You know, kinda like Clark Kent and the glasses?  He pretends to be not so bright, but really he's plotting to take over the world.  How did I discover this you ask?  Well, allow me to explain.  Whilst in Beaver for the long holiday weekend we decided it would be fun to sleep out in the back yard.  So, like any self respecting lazy person I made my Dad set up the tent.  Before long it was decided that the nephew and niece type kiddos would be joining in on the fun so we blew up air mattresses, scavenged for blankets and pillows, refereed an epic battle over who got to sleep next to who, and finally settled in for the night.  Before going to sleep we locked the evil genius cat on the back porch and carefully zipped up the tent tightly.  Cut to 1 am.....when I feel evil little kitty paws making their way up my legs.  WTC? (what the crap? for those of you who don't speak text lingo..ahem...Mom)  How did evil genius cat get in the tent you ask?  Well I asked myself the same question.  After some investigation we discovered that not only had the cat somehow orchestrated his escape from his porch prison, but he had also managed to figure out how to UNZIP THE FREAKING TENT.  How did he do it?  I don't know and that wasn't something I wanted to ponder at 1 am.  So I threw the furry beast out of the tent, and zipped it up tight, this time pulling the zipper pulls inside the tent to prevent any more break-ins.  As I lay there basking in the glow of my cell phone screen trying to go back to sleep I hear a small rustling sound.....my eyes shoot to the zipper at the bottom of then tent where a little yellow paw is working at the zipper until it can squeeze through and grab the pull cords.  You can see where this is going right?  A few short minutes later we have a furry tent mate again. This process was repeated twice before I gave up and just let the pest stay in the tent. EVIL GENIUS I tell ya.  Right now it's doors and tent zippers, pretty soon he'll be hot wiring cars, robbing banks and building death rays in the garage.  Don't say I didn't warn you.