My lucky streak continues....

****Disclaimer****

This blog may contain excessive amounts of sarcasm.  If you are allergic to sarcasm or lack a sense of humor please continue to read this post at your own risk.  Management assumes no responsibility for any injury or offense taken.  Contrary to popular belief, I am neither racist (see last post) nor do I bear ill will toward other faiths.  Thank you.

****End Disclaimer****

The postman has brought yet another treat to my house.  Today I received this in the mail.  You know when the envelope has a note that starts out "Dear Jesus" it's gonna be good.

I opened the letter to find a treasure beyond measure.  A PRAYER RUG (which oddly enough looks more like a big piece of paper to me, but who am I to question it?) SOAKED WITH THE POWER OF PRAYER!

Also included I received my own personal sealed prophetic word.

(Note the seal....this stuff is for real people!)

And some very specific instructions as to how this prayer rug was supposed to be used.  

Based on the testimonials that were included with the 'rug' I'm pretty sure this is totally LEGIT.  I'm gonna go use it right now and mark off pretty much all of the things on the list, so I can get this sucker back in the mail and then kick back and wait for the blessings to roll in.  Then I'm gonna go hunt down some boy scouts and throttle them because I'm pretty sure they sold my address to the weirdo solicitation of the month club.

(also for the record....I stared at the rug for a long time and there was no opening of eyes....I think I must have got a defective one.)

I hesitate to post this....

......for fear of the jealousy it may spark in many of you who read it, but I just have to share my news.  We stopped to pick up our mail today after church and there was a treasure waiting for me.  What was it you ask?  Well you see, it was a chance for me to save the Lakota Children.....and with that chance I also received a bounty of gifts.

Stickers, a calendar, notebooks and the Piece de Resistance.....A genuine DREAM CATCHER!  I am ECSTATIC!!!  Feathers, pseudo buckskin, and even little wind chimes!  I am beside myself with joy.  In case you're not familiar please feast upon this fine literature that accompanied my treasure:

But it doesn't stop there...oh no....there is more if you can believe it.  I also got a certificate and a genuine (computer generated) authentic letter from a honest to goodness Lakota child.  

How can I possibly turn down such an opportunity?  They even took the time to find a font that looked like an 11 year old wrote it......and dammit....they drink too much!  

I'm going to go admire my dream catcher now while I ponder this, but I'll leave you with some parting words...... 

Wakan Tanka Kici Un

Dear Utah,

I'm not sure if you got the message.....but it's MARCH!!!

I have a problem......

.......a big one.

I'm totally addicted.

Jimmer=Amazing

The End. 

Sebastian????? Is that you????

So this evening as I lounged around watching TV my attention was caught by a commercial for this:

and I thought to myself....oh that looks tasty and delicious.  That thought was still running through my brain when I see and hear this (well not this exactly because this is youtube and I was watching a commercial for disney cruise line, but you get the picture):

Does this seem wrong to anyone besides me????

To the cute little kestrel...

....who so visciously attacked the little bird that lives in my carport and tore him to shreds.  You are my hero.  I will admit that I don't like birds of any sort, but you now hold a special place in my heart and in the heart of my car for keeping this from happening again.

(actual bird not pictured due to the scraps of other bird hanging from it's blessed little beak)