****Disclaimer****
This blog may contain excessive amounts of sarcasm. If you are allergic to sarcasm or lack a sense of humor please continue to read this post at your own risk. Management assumes no responsibility for any injury or offense taken. Contrary to popular belief, I am neither racist (see last post) nor do I bear ill will toward other faiths. Thank you.
****End Disclaimer****
The postman has brought yet another treat to my house. Today I received this in the mail. You know when the envelope has a note that starts out "Dear Jesus" it's gonna be good.
I opened the letter to find a treasure beyond measure. A PRAYER RUG (which oddly enough looks more like a big piece of paper to me, but who am I to question it?) SOAKED WITH THE POWER OF PRAYER!
Also included I received my own personal sealed prophetic word.
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| (Note the seal....this stuff is for real people!) |
And some very specific instructions as to how this prayer rug was supposed to be used.
Based on the testimonials that were included with the 'rug' I'm pretty sure this is totally LEGIT. I'm gonna go use it right now and mark off pretty much all of the things on the list, so I can get this sucker back in the mail and then kick back and wait for the blessings to roll in. Then I'm gonna go hunt down some boy scouts and throttle them because I'm pretty sure they sold my address to the weirdo solicitation of the month club.
(also for the record....I stared at the rug for a long time and there was no opening of eyes....I think I must have got a defective one.)
